Woman Angry at Fiancé Over 'Cheap' Engagement Ring Backed Online

Oct 12, 2023

A newly engaged woman has accused her fiancé of giving her a "cheap" engagement ring while continuing to spend "extravagant" amounts on himself.

In a post shared to Mumsnet under the handle newbie224, the bride-to-be said there was an "immediate feeling" of "disappointment" when she saw the ring. "It looked cheap like costume jewelry and not what I expected," she wrote, adding: "I'm not a jewelry wearer in general so my expectations about a ring were low."

It's something of an old adage that an engagement ring should cost the equivalent of three months' salary. However, according to a study conducted by the engagement ring advice website Ringspo, just 0.9 percent of people adhere to this rule.

While 33.1 percent of respondents used the figures as a guideline, 66 percent said they ignored it entirely. A desire to cut costs appears to be a key driver behind this, with the same study showing that 40 percent of those quizzed as part of the study spend under $2,000 on a ring.

This figure was down on the overall average spend of $5,225. But while some may be happy to receive a cheaper ring, knowing the sentiment behind it, this particular bride was anything but.

Two months on from the initial proposal, she decided to research the hallmark on the ring and she was far from happy with what she found. "It says sterling silver cubic zirconia. basically cheap," she said. When she confronted her fiancé about it, he branded her "ungrateful" but she has refused to back down.

"I'm not materialistic at all but I feel an engagement ring is something that should be special in some way," the bride-to-be wrote. "It's not necessarily the price of the ring, more the materials used to make it sterling silver and cubic zirconia are not quality materials."

The crux of her issue seems to lie in the fact her partner is far from strapped for cash. "I know he can afford so much more and is extravagant in his own spending on himself," she wrote. Evidently concerned, she said her partner's refusal to spend more was a "bad omen" for their relationship.

Jordan Cullen, the director of Cullen Jewellery, which specializes in engagement and wedding rings, felt it was "understandable" that the bride-to-be may feel disappointed.

"It is important to remember that an engagement ring is a symbol of love and commitment, and it is ultimately up to the couple to determine what is most meaningful and important to them," he told Newsweek.

"While it is not wrong for the bride-to-be to feel disappointed, it is also important to consider the perspective of the potential future husband. If he is able to afford a more expensive ring but has chosen to spend money on himself instead, it is worthwhile for the couple to have a conversation about their priorities and financial goals. Here, she should be able to freely express her feelings of disappointment and explain why the quality of the ring matters to her."

Cullen said that the most important thing is that her fiancé is "thoughtful and considerate in choosing an engagement ring that is meaningful and within his means."

"There are alternatives to mined diamonds, such as moissanite and lab-grown diamonds, which can still be special and meaningful to the bride-to-be without being unnecessarily expensive," he said. "It is important for the couple to communicate and find a solution that works for both of them."

But while Cullen struck a conciliatory tone in his response to the dilemma, the reaction on social media was more scathing of the fiancé's choice of ring. Bluebell34567 told the bride-to-be it showed "how much he values you given he has money," while KellyJonesLeatherTrousers commented: "To be honest if he is just stingy [cheap] I would reconsider a future, it's so fundamental to how you'll live your life together."

GreenManalishi added: "This to me shows that he feels that he deserves nice things, yet you don't, which really doesn't bode well," with LaLuz7 writing: "I think expensive diamond rings are wasteful and unnecessary but surely there's a middle ground."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.

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